The Big Voice on the Right kicked off his radio program Monday by celebrating presidential hopeful Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s inexplicable decision to launch a media blitz about an analysis of her DNA by a Stanford professor intended to prove once and for all that she really does have a Native American ancestor like she claimed when she was climbing up the ranks of academia.
“This is great, folks. I’m not believing this!” said Limbaugh. “You talk about manna from heaven? We got it today.”
On Monday, the left-leaning Boston Globe published a follow-up to their report last month intended to clear Warren of charges of using her alleged ancestry to advance her career with an embarrassing report on the findings of Stanford Prof. Carlos Bustamante, who concluded that while “the vast majority” of the senator’s ancestry is European, “the results strongly support the existence of an unadmixed Native American ancestor.” That possible ancestor, said Bustamante, was probably somewhere “in the range of 6-10 generations ago.”
In the Globe’s initial report, it calculated that Bustamante’s findings meant that Warren was likely, probably, possibly anywhere from 1/32nd to 1/512th Native American. But in two corrections issued afterward, the Globe explained that a math error had overestimated her possible Native blood: Warren’s actually somewhere between 1/64th and 1/1,024th Native American. But that’s not the only necessary correction: The DNA Bustamante used to supposedly trace her ancestry actually included Mexican, Colombian, and Peruvian blood.
“We’re three weeks out from the midterm elections, and what happens?” said Limbaugh. “Fauxcahontas inserts herself into the campaign with proof and evidence that she is one 1/1024th Indian. Elizabeth Warren is whiter than your average white person! Your average white person has more Injun blood than she does! You know there was a lot of nooky going on back in those Old West days, folks, and she’s been out there trying to make this case that she was part minority, helped her get the gig at Harvard and so forth.”
Warren’s DNA test perfectly plays into President Trump’s hands, said Limbaugh. “Trump made a bet. I’ll make you bet a million bucks. Take a DNA test, and you’re not. So she did, and she announced it today. She got the DNA guy, the scientist out at Stanford to say, ‘Yep. One 1/1024th Native American,”’ he said laughing.
Even a former Obama campaign manager, Jim Messina, smacked Warren for dropping the mockable DNA test in the middle of the hotly contested midterm, noted Rush. “I figured if the Democrats are upset that Fauxcahontas went out there and is trying to steal the news cycle, then who are we to deny her the opportunity? And that’s why I’m leading with this story,” said Limbaugh.
“[O]nly a Democrat, folks, would think their report from a scientist saying that she might be one 1/1024th Indian would make their claim of minority status valid,” he said. “One 1/1024th Indian. Elizabeth Warren possibly. That would be 0.09%. That’s not even 1/10th of 1%, folks. That’s how little Indian heritage Fauxcahontas has. Now, scientists say that the average European American is 0.18% Native American, 0.18%. She is 0.09! She is less Native American than the average European American is. These are New York Times numbers, by the way. Elizabeth Warren less Native American than the average European American.”
Limbaugh then offered a potential compromise on Trump’s million-dollar donation promise (which he said he’d make in a presidential debate with her): “If he’s gonna pay a percentage of the million dollars that equals her percentage of Native American, that means he would owe just a little over a thousand dollars, if he wants to pay.”
Limbaugh went on to have some more laughs at the ancestry video Warren released on Monday to go along with the much-derided DNA report (video below).
“Now, I understand why Jim Messina and the rest of the gang on the left are all in a Twitter here, because she is making it about her on a basically nonstory,” said Limbaugh. “I mean, the election coming up… There isn’t a single vote that has anything to do with her. She hasn’t even announced for the presidency. In fact, she said just the opposite. She says she’s not gonna run. So, given that, why is she intruding here? I’ll tell you, she thinks like all the others on the left do. They think if they can be the one to destroy Trump, if they can be the one to illustrate that whatever they think of Trump is true, they’ll, be heroines or heroes.”
Democrats aren’t the only ones upset about Warren’s self-focused media blitz; Cherokee Nation Secretary of State Chuck Hoskin Jr. also slammed the senator for making “a mockery out of DNA tests and its legitimate uses while also dishonoring legitimate tribal governments and their citizens, whose ancestors are well documented and whose heritage is proven.”