Source: Alex Parker

Have you been unfortunate fortunate enough to try a paper straw?

Being on the West Coast, I’ve had the pleasure.

Many, many times.

For those of you yet to partake, you’ll love it — assuming you have the digestive system of a goat.

As for function, the straw pulls double duty.

For the first 4 minutes, it allows you to swallow liquid.

At 4:01 and beyond — in my experience — it feeds you a paper stick.

MMMmmmMMM good.

Apropos, Coca-Cola’s about to try a paper bottle.

From The Daily Wire:

Coca-Cola plans to do a test-run of 2,000 paper bottles this summer to see how they perform in the marketplace and with consumers. The prototype was made “by a Danish company from an extra-long paper shell that still contains a thin plastic liner.” It is a first step in a long-term project of completely ridding plastic from the company’s drink containers.

Per the British Broadcasting Company, the mission “is to create a 100% recyclable, plastic-free bottle capable of preventing gas escaping from carbonated drinks.”

And here’s a trick: “The barrier must…ensure no [fibers] flake off into the liquid.”

Because:

[Failure would risk] altering the taste of the drink — or potentially fall foul of health and safety checks.

As worded by the BBC, America’s favorite soft drink aims to produce “zero waste by 2030.”

Clearly, it’s impossible to produce no waste. But Coke has reason to turn a new leaf: Last year, charity organization Break Free From Plastic deemed it the world’s number one plastic polluter.

In service to a transformation, the Danish enterprise — Paper Bottle Company, or Paboco — has accomplished quite a feat — the biodegradable container had to be moldable to various shapes as well as take inked labels.

More from BBC:

After more than seven years of lab work, the firm is now ready to host a trial in Hungary this summer of Coca-Cola’s fruit drink Adez. Initially, this will involve 2,000 bottles distributed via a local retail chain.

And they’re not just doing it for Coke:

Absolut, the vodka-maker, is due to test 2,000 paper bottles of it own in the UK and Sweden of its pre-mixed, carbonated raspberry drink.
And beer company Carlsberg is also building prototypes of a paper beer bottle.

So how do you make curved paper pass muster?

Michael Michelsen, the firm’s commercial manager, says the bottles are formed out of a single piece of paper-fibre-based material to give them strength.

“That’s part of the secret really,” he explained, adding that [molding] a single object – rather than relying on joins – ensured the bonds between the fibres stayed robust.

“With a clever combination of product design and the strong [fiber] blend, that’s what makes it really possible to not break under pressure.”

In theory, it’s been sufficiently engineered.

However — as noted by Michael — they won’t know for sure ’til taking a real-world shot.

Would you buy a soft drink contained in curved paper?

You may soon get your chance.

When the time comes, a word of advice: Don’t use a paper straw.